Writing Your Wedding Vows
Writing your own wedding vows can be an amazing way to express your love and commitment in your own words. It’s a perfect way to personalize your wedding and to show guests exactly what you love about each other. Why settle for words that most other couples have used when you can be unique and create an atmosphere that is yours in its entirety. Finding the words to express exactly how you feel may indeed seem daunting, but when you do, it will surely be a special touch for both you as a couple and for your wedding guests.
Traditional wedding vows are historically the foundation of most marriages.
I, ______, take you, ______, to be my husband/wife, to have and to
hold from this day forward, for better or worse, for richer or poorer, in sickness
and health, to love and to cherish, until death do us part.
The promises and commitments these vows express are meaningful and universal. However, for some couples, traditional wedding vows do not embrace their emotion and vision of the future as a married couple.
Non-traditional vows can encompass whatever you choose, from memories about the past to visions of the future together. Some couples enjoy writing original vows together, reminiscing about the origin of their relationship and their commitment to the future. Others prefer the suspense of writing vows separately and hearing them for the first time at their wedding. Whether you choose to write your vows separately or together, you may want to think about mirroring them in terms of tone, style and length, in order to maintain flow and consistency throughout the ceremony.
Getting started can often be the hardest part of writing vows. Here are a few ideas to discuss with your fiancé that may help both of you focus your writing.
• How long should the vows be?
• Should mutual phrases begin and/or end both sets of vows?
o Example: I promise or I can’t wait to begin my life with you
• Will your vows will be serious, or humorous, or both?
• Will you include special memories from your relationship?
• Will you include promises and parts of your relationship/personality you will work on?
o Example: Strengths and weaknesses
• What is the greatest thing about the person you are about to marry?
• When did you know you were in love and know you were ready for marriage?
• What does marriage mean to you; why do you want to be married?
• What is the most important promise you will make?
• What will marriage change and what will stay the same?
• How will you support each other during difficult times, how has your life improved since you met, and what can you accomplish together?
• What do you respect most about your partner? What inspires you most? What do you miss when apart?
Most importantly, when you write your own vows you can craft phrases that represent you, your relationship and your personalities, as well as reflect your commitment to each other. The words you write should be words that you are comfortable expressing in front of all of your family and guests. They should sound like you and be an expression of who you are and who you hope to be as a married couple. It’s OK to borrow from poetry, books, and spiritual books, but be careful not to let those words overpower your own. Allow plenty of time to reflect, write and edit and don’t forget to practice, practice, practice!
At Amos Productions we have the opportunity to work with so many engaged couples. One of these couples, Rachel and Kevin Batstone, shared their thoughts on why writing their own vows was so important to them. While Kevin’s concern was more about making his vows interesting and interactive, Rachel’s primary goal was to create something that felt right to her and that exemplified what love meant to her and to them as a couple.
We felt more strongly about what we didn’t want it to be, than what it “should” be…we knew we didn’t want ours to look or feel or be anything other than who we are as a couple. As we planned our wedding and worked on the ceremony script and vows, we focused on what made our relationship uniquely “us”. We both felt that this was an opportunity to create something that reflected who we are, what we believe in and to share that with the people who we love and mean the most to us in our lives.
– Rachel & Kevin Batstone
Whether you are inspired to write your own personal statement of love and commitment or you decide to take a more traditional approach, make sure your promises are meaningful to your relationship and will be something you treasure forever.
Did you write your own vows? Do you have any input for future couples? We would like to hear from you?! Please leave a message for us below!